Previously published in Kudzu, 2008

Another long shift in a long day for a long face. Karen walked out of Moers after spending ten hours repairing the damage from the club-rager over the last night. They always threw the best Back to School parties for University ‘freshers’, and like the wild little savages that they are, those freshers showed their appreciation by breaking as many glasses as possible, while filling the rest with cigarette butts. Sloshing ashy-liquid into slop buckets, however, did not make Karen feel very appreciated.

She reached into her ratty little backpack for a packet of nori snacks and yesterday’s issue of the Metro. The bus wouldn’t be coming for another ten minutes, and she didn’t feel much like her usual people-watching. People-watching would surely lead to people-hating, and Karen had enough rage in her brain. She unfolded the Metro and lost herself in the flood of meaningless words. Something in the paper had just barely begun to seem interesting when a car passed slow enough for her to notice the driver – a classic 80s goth with Robert Smith hair and fishnet glovelets on his hands – but more importantly, to notice the music. Man, did it ever fit the look, and man oh man, was it ever the smile she needed…

She was a fresher herself, once – young and excited for the experience of Uni, dorm life, different freedoms and obligations, the whole shebang. After orientation (and during, as well), the inhabitants of her co-ed dorm building raised their beercans high in a toast to underage drinking while popping in and out of rooms that held themes reflecting their sleepers’ interests. Karen stood still for a moment, listening to all the sounds, fighting to isolate songs, and heard a song that pulled her into room 143.

The dress code was black. The refreshments were red wine and clove cigarettes. The man on the bed, commanding everyone’s attention with his voice and guitar, was gorgeous. Karen stepped in and pushed out a harmony she had crafted after hours and hours of listening to “God in an Alcove”, blending perfectly with the guitarist’s voice. The crowd around him scowled, but she continued, locking eyes with the guitarist.

“You know Bauhaus?” he asked after finishing, snuggling his guitar close to his chest.

Karen smiled softly and shrugged. “Well, yeah. Who doesn’t?” The crowd shrank and mumbled. Guitar-boy shook his head.

“You’d be surprised.” He offered his hand. “I’m Matt.”

“Karen,” she said, taking his hand, expecting a shake, but getting a kiss on the back of her hand instead.

“I think,” Matt started, tilting his chin up dramatically, eyeing the ceiling with a thoughtful look, “that I am finished with wine tonight. It’s fake lemon-lime time.” He looked over at Karen with clear, sharp eyes. “Care to join?”

“If you’re buying, sure,” she said with a shrug. Matt smiled, laid his guitar down gently like a baby, and got off the bed.

Matt and Karen fought their way through the sea of drunken undergrads, settling down in the courtyard. Sprites in hand, they shared a constant stream of thoughts bubbling from their minds and mouths as steady as their sodas bubbled and popped. It was the first night of many nights for them, together, talking without fear, expressing the world as they saw it as openly as they pleased, growing and blossoming into a romance that lasted…

Until Karen transferred universities to Germany, two years later. She broke the news over a neatly wrapped mixtape. “I’ll never be able to listen to this without thinking of you,” said Matt, tears brimming but not spilling.

“That’s kind of the plan.” Karen took his hand and gave it a squeeze, singing the harmony that brought them together. He joined with the melody, tears breaking. She finished with a sigh. “I’ll never hear this without thinking of you.”

She shook her head and sighed, her focus returning to the here and now. The memories had faded so far from her mind… so strange, she thought, that she should come to it again, now, after so many years. Karen closed her eyes and smiled down at the Metro. She hadn’t thought of that song since she left for Germany, but for those two years of warmth and happiness it gave her, she resolved to keep it in regular rotation on her stereo and preserve those precious memories.