Or something like it, anyway.  I now have in my hands the replacement Sony Ericsson w580i, its case, a nifty bluetooth headset (Motorola HT820), my external HD (WesternDigital My Passport Essential 160GB), and the case for that as well.  Still two things left to come in (which I’m not hurting for), plus my ecology books (one of which I am hurting for), but most of the absolute essentials are in, so I am a happy girl.  Just wish my media files would transfer to the HD faster.  FAAAASTER.  That’s what I get for being a music junkie, I guess.

On the subject of holiday bliss, though… I’m faced with the feeling of not even wanting to be around here for Christmas.  It’s rather odd… every other time I’ve tried to be away for the holiday, I’ve failed miserably (then again, the circumstances for which I was being away were pretty fucking fail, too).  But now, the very thought of being all ha-ha-happy-christmas with fresh young SNERTy attitudes makes me feel rather ill.  I know, yes, I was the same way at one time, but for the moment, in my bitter elderly cane-shaking fury, I must say I think teenagers are only good for one thing: asking me “would you like to try a combo meal today?”

Maybe my mind will change with time, but the idea of just getting a hotel room and declaring it “Fuck All” Day sounds mighty fine.

I’ve been incredibly busy, dear Glostix readers (if there are any, ha!), and I will be staying that way, so please excuse the lack of… stuff.  Been getting my room cleaned (massive undertaking), and I have a little left to do yet, but this is the best, most comfortable shape my room has been in since, well, ever.  I’m finally getting rid of so many of the senseless things I’ve been holding on to for more years than I have toes (for the record, there are five on each foot).  Finding little surprises hiding here and there that I would rather not see or dwell on (it’s amazing all the scraps of paper I held on to just to have SOMETHING to show for my old relationship besides “a hard time”, all tucked here there and yonder).  I’d say half of what I owned has hit the trash can (after several changes).

Tomorrow is gonna be a busy one, too.  Last minute details.  Oh, how I hate those last minute details!

Something a bit more worthy of noting, though: I ran into someone I knew last weekend while I was having dinner with Sylver (by “having” I mean “I watched her eat”). I didn’t even recognize her, and didn’t believe her when she told me who she was… but yeah, we started talking, and she explained to Sylver that we used to go to the same church with all the rich kids and blah blah blah about how we never fit in cos of sweet country bumpkins.  My initial thought was to laugh at her, because I remember occasions where she got in on the “Everybody Make Fun of Becky” campaign… but thought otherwise, because perhaps what she said was true, and she was only doing it to try to fit in with a crowd that wouldn’t take her in anyway.  In that instant, I felt for her.
Felt even more when she commented how funny it is that most of those kids now are leading pretty miserable lives, and we’re actually happy with ours.  It’s rather nice to have someone from my youth recognize this…
Then retracted when she said she had six kids.  Two from her past, two from her husband’s past, and two together.  “We’re like some kind of Brady Bunch,” she chuckled.  “Not quite what my mother would’ve wanted, but that’s just life these days.”  I couldn’t help but smile at that.  “I do enjoy the chaos,” she admitted.  No speech about how motherhood is great, her calling, her one true joy in life.  She just remarked on the chaos and smiled a simple, genuine smile.

I’m just pleased to know that some people from the tribe managed to come out of their youth with some brains left to their name.  May not be my cuppa, but her happiness was as genuine as mine, so I couldn’t knock her path if I tried.  Rare thing ’round these parts.  ‘Round the world in general.  I’ll have my little Catcheresque moment and spit at how entirely fake people are, smiling in public but praying for death every time they close their eyes… selling their lies to you to convince them that yes, they really are happy — happier than you, even –  leading people into believing that this MUST be the way to live… never realizing how big of a lie it was until they step through that door and figure it out for themselves.  Pretty painted-up misery that breeds with every false word and forced smile.

But there are some good people left… there is still reason to hope.

Therefore, I am IMPORTANT. I have a BLOG and EVERYTHING. I have screennames that are in no way related to my true identity, therefore I can BE AN ASSHOLE to EVERYONE. I can SCREAM at you from a distance, when I would never really do that in person. I can call you a coward, or an idiot, or a crazy-person with a false-sense of superiority, when in reality I’m just PROJECTING my problems on to YOU.  My banter is INTELLIGENT.  Anyone who disagrees is STUPID.  And you’re probably stupid because you’re CHRISTIAN, or maybe AMERICAN.  God help you if you’re BOTH, you sorry sack of crap.

People talk about the online community as if it’s the new reality, the better world, bridging gaps and connecting people all around the world, when in reality, it’s (in some ways) much worse than the reality we have.  And this really makes me all sorts of sick inside.  I hate how easy it is to get big-pants syndrome around here… and how compelled one feels to vehemently defend their entirely imaginary position in cyberlife.  This isn’t what it’s supposed to be, is it?  Or has my brain been entirely rotted by cyberculture idealism?  Because I used to believe in this place once.  I used to believe The Open Forum would be a beautiful idea, where we could meet and exchange ideas as mature people.  But all I generally see are immature fucktards with bad grammar, and the equally immature “educated idiots” flaming the hell out of them, laying waste to whatever claim to “intelligence” they may have had before.

God, I just want to punch you in the face sometimes.

…eh, see?  I guess I’m not much better.
Just a product of my (e)nvironment.