Morning coffee and your daily routine, be it class or work, do not really mix. You chug a mug, and rush out the door to meet the day, and then WHAM. The coffee starts working your innards, and you’re trapped in Public Bathroomland. You either A) make use of the onsite facilities, knowing that everyone in proximity will hate you forever, or B) wiggle around in intestinal agony, spending your entire day dreaming of the moment when you finally reach the Holy Land of Poo.

It’s a right horrible ordeal to go through.

But I think it should be noted, right here, right now, that the almost zenlike feeling of finally making it to your personal potty party is really, very worth the wait.

I feel like I could solve some problems now. I feel like I could save some people now. I feel… like I could change the world. I really, honestly, truly could. One poo at a time.

Thank you and God Bless.

I’m surprised the earth didn’t shake, what with 69,456,897 Obama fans finally getting their epic climax this noon.  Now we can finally relax back on our pillows, with one arm behind our head and the other with a cigarette pressed to our lips, as Lady Liberty tickles our bellies and eyes us admiringly.  Was it good for us?  “You betcha!”  We’ve done a good job, we have.  We “voted for change”, which will hopefully make up for the last eight years’ tragic-comedy.

How long will the good times roll?  Some things do reach their high point too early on… and it’s all downhill from there.  But hell, who wants to worry about that?  Not me.  Not you.  Let’s just enjoy the good times while they’re going in a circular motion.  Barack Obacca commands it.

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